I could compile a list, I really could… of what you might ask…well here it is…
It’s not okay, to say certain things to people.
Gasp, I know right. You thought that the internet had brought with it a new world in which everyone absolutely needs to know what you’re thinking at all times…Sure, if you wanna post a picture of every meal you eat, then go right ahead. If you need to set a cryptic status about how you’re having a bad day, or a rant against a nameless person, that’s ok.
What isn’t ok is how this has bled into the real world. Not the aforementioned examples, but how people now feel like they can be as candid as they like, even rude if they choose to be. Because usually they type it onto a computer and don’t have to stand in front of the person they are offending.
It goes back to that saying…I’m not being funny, but… or I’m not racist, but… or don’t take this the wrong way, but… The word But has become the word people use in a sentence as a warning, to let you know something is coming your way. It could be silly, it might not offend you, but…(there I go with it) quite often it is the armour people wrap themselves in before delivering a blow of some sort.
Example: Today I was in a rush to catch a train, running impossible in my footwear, but I had a minute and two flights of stairs so I was moving briskly. Three men on the landing of the first flight of stairs were faffing about with a ladder and god knows what else, I wasn’t paying attention to anything but the train ahead of me. One man, says ‘Hey love, has anyone ever told you…’ I had headphones in and so I duly removed one so I could hear him (he was going to say I looked like Adele and yes, I have been told that before. Or so I thought…) ‘You have the face of Dawn French’ I processed it for a moment, looked at him a few steps lower and said ‘No, nobody has ever said that before. Um cheers’ ‘Oh I didnt mean anything by it, you just look like her. Are you as funny as her?’ Well if i hadnt been running for that train, I might have treated him to a stand up routine, but as I was in a rush and caught of guard, I smiled sweetly (a la Dawn herself) and said ‘Sometimes, if the mood suits’ and strode off to watch the train pull away from the platform.
A: It isn’t ok to just stop someone who is clearly in a rush, whether you want to ‘compliment’ them or sell them something, in a Train Station. Especially when you clearly work in said Train Station and should understand the whole travelling and rushing part of the scenario.
B: It isn’t ok to pluck the first fat person you think of and compare the fat person in front of you with them. He was black, I didn’t reply with ‘Funny, you look like my ex Lenny’ because I wouldn’t do that. Because IT ISN’T OK!
C: It isn’t ok to stop people to offend them, it isn’t ok to offend people full stop.
Let’s get something straight, I know what I look like. I have actually seen my reflection. So yeah, I was bullied at school and I recently realised after moving to a new job. For about four years, I was bullied in the workplace and it took me moving to realise that the things that were being said to me were not normal or ok. I am however a human being, I have feelings, bloody lots of them depending on how many episodes of Greys Anatomy I have watched lately.
I have to pin this new trend of strangers being so frank, with the fact that half the time we communicate with strangers using only our fingertips and apparently, seldom our brains.
I’m not upset, it was funny to be honest and sure, I can be as funny as Dawn if I wanna. Or so I like to think. I just think we need to work on how we treat other people, because mental health is such a serious thing and as someone who has had crippling anxiety, I dont need to live in a world where it’s ok to just randomly offend and hurt people.
I’m not being funny, but….It’s not OK.
P.S I worship Dawn French, she’s gorgeous and I haven’t got a problem with the comparison except no, I don’t look like her (plus, it’s bad on her, cos she is totally skinnier than me these days I believe) I have a problem with the fact he thought the comparison was ok to tell a random stranger.